Monday, February 19, 2007

Things that make you go hmmm

This cracked me up! To think they've come up with an official disorder for what on the street we simply call an "asshole." Watch in the next three months as 3 out of 4 lawyers and judges are diagnosed with "extreme narcisism."

BY JON CRAIG JCRAIG@ENQUIRER.COM
COLUMBUS – Mason Municipal Court Judge George M. Parker should lose his law license for at least a year because of misconduct, the Ohio Supreme Court’s disciplinary counsel recommended Monday.
But Parker’s attorney, George D. Jonson of Cincinnati, said a public reprimand is punishment enough because the judge is getting treatment for a personality disorder that helped cause his misconduct.

According to Jonson, Mason psychologist M. Douglas Reed agreed with a state-appointed psychiatrist that Parker suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, a pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior that flares up under stress.

The state’s psychiatric expert, Dr. Michael Beech of Bexley, testified Monday that Parker displayed symptoms of a disorder for which few people seek treatment. Narcissistic personality disorder can cause distress and an inability to function at work or in relationships, Beech said. “Seeking out help in and of itself is a favorable sign,” he said.
Earlier Monday, Parker testified he has seen two psychologists since last summer to treat his problem.It marked the third and final day of hearings before a three-judge panel of the state Supreme Court Board of Commissioners on Grievances and Discipline. The panel will recommend action to the board, which can range from dismissal of the seven-count complaint against Parker, to permanent suspension of his law license.

Assistant Disciplinary Counsel Joseph M. Caligiuri recommended an 18-month suspension of Parker’s law license with six months stayed. He said Parker is “simply just not content being a neutral, detached judge.”Jonson said the most Parker should face is a six-month suspension, and that he be allowed to continue practicing law if he meets counseling requirements. “The judge has admitted to many things,” Jonson said, adding Parker is “painfully aware of the baggage he brought to the bench and he’s getting treatment.”When he took the stand Monday, Parker admitted he used to talk too much and offer too much advice to defendants. He admitted to most of the misconduct outlined in the complaint. “Judges are human. I’m human,” Parker testified.

Parker said he sought counseling in March 2006 primarily because “the people who knew me well were concerned I wasn’t reacting well to the way that I was portrayed publicly.”In the complaint filed in October 2005, Parker was accused of:

-- Asking to join police in executing a search warrant that turned up stolen signs and marijuana. Parker later sentenced the accused to a day in jail.
-- Calling 911 to ask Mason police to transport a prisoner from the Warren County jail.
-- Pressuring a Mason police officer to agree to reduce charges in a domestic violence case.
-- Jailing the mother of a drug addict who interrupted him in court.
-- Calling an alleged drug dealer, on a speaker phone from his courtroom, to confront him.

Jonson submitted 13 letters of support on Parker’s behalf, including several from court employees.The Mason Municipal Court serves more than 50,000 residents in Mason and Deerfield Township.Parker defeated three fellow Republicans in the May 2001 primary and ran unopposed in the November 2001 election. His term ends in December. Parker declined to say whether he will run for re-election later this year.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Long time no cookie

Hey all you cookie-munchers:

Happy New Year! My resolution this year is to fu*%ing learn how to drive. And get my license. And hopefully, a car.

I have greatly shirked my blogging duties, I know. But life has been a real roller coaster these last months. If I had read my fortune a couple of months ago, it would have said, "Hold on tight, you're in for one hell of a ride." Eventful? Yes. Almost lost my lunch a few times? Yes. Do it again if it was either that, or repeat high-school? Hell yes. Have time to write about it for my faithful blog audience? No. Sorry.

So the news is: I have a new job, started apprenticing as a seamstress at a friend's business a couple of months ago. It's a great place to work, very enjoyable and something I always wanted to learn. So far, in regards to personal projects, I have made a nightgown, a laptop case, a machine-sewn purse, and a hand-sewn purse. The hand-sewn purse took about 8 hours and I am so proud of it. I gave it to my mom. If I had to put a price tag on it, it would have to be at least $300 for the amount of time and effort that went into it, not to mention the blood as I stabbed myself with the needle repeatedly. I think that gives it that magic touch.

I'm also in the process of moving - friends of mine bought a house and have very generously given me my own room. The place needs serious rehab, which we'll do as we move stuff in. So that's taking a fair bit of free time.

Apart from that, not a whole lot to report. Book signings have been boring, but Rosa Farm is doing well. For those of you not hip to it, the book can be viewed here: http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780375836817

Christmas was OK. My sister disappeared on boxing day after an altercation with my folks. Lots of family drama right now. But that's not blogging business.

Did I ever mention I have a cell phone? 513-254-5033 for those who want their cookies fresh.

Happy 2007, everyone. Rock and Roll.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

12-year reunion

It's time for a new cookie. I just opened one that read:

It must be home-grown.

Eh. A somewhat lame fortune.

Well, my luck of late has been sort of mediocre. I mean, I have only one student now and the funds are quite slim. I am looking for more work. I resonded to an ad in the classifieds today, having misread the title as "reflexology" - in fact it was "relaxology." To make a long story short, I thought it would be a good deal to get free training and make $40 an hour rubbing peoples's feet ... then found out it was in fact recruiting for a more "sensual" service. Oops. I'm not quite that broke yet.

However, something really cool happened this weekend - I got to see someone I hadn't seen since I was 15. I had been thinking of him over the years and tried to make contact several times, sending letters etc. I'm talking about a Shawnee guy who adopted me as his grand-daughter years back.

Well, some friends and I drove 2 hrs north to visit him on Saturday and it was really a dream come true. It was great to see him again and to chat. He's had some health problems but looks like he's still going strong. That made me really happy.

Apart from that, just chugging along, trying to figure out what to do with myself. Excuse me, my bad self. Yeah, and the bag of chips that comes with it.

Yes, it's past 2 a.m. Can't you tell?

Shut up and eat your cookie.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

And so and such

So it's official. My little sis is at college, drove up yesterday ... attending Ohio State at their Wooster branch five hours away. The nest is now empty - except for me, of course, as I'm staying with mom ... then again, I'm hardly ever home these days, working 11-hour days at Berlitz and rehearsing/taking classes in the evenings.

Played my first gig since being back on Friday for the opening of a condominium - jazz duo doing hand percussion and some vocals with an outstanding local pianist - it was a blast. A friend recorded it so hoping to put together a demo and see if I can't find some more work.

So the news is that things are going well, busy as ever, but can't complain.

I went out to a Chinese restaurant today. I'm going to open a fortune cookie right now and tell you all what your fortune is for the week:

Change is the watchword of progression.

Whatever that means.

Oh, and fish in Chinese is "Yu."

Monday, September 04, 2006

When it Rains ...

Last Thursday I went out to see a local band play ... because of the rain, they cancelled. This was the second time in two weeks myself and the same group of friends had gone to see this band and been thwarted (the first time we were told the gig went until 10 but they stopped at 9). Strike two.

We went somewhere else instead and saw an entirely different band. Then we watched The Best of Saturday Night Live until the wee hours of the morning. I thought about calling home to let mom know I was staying the night with friends (she had the number) but decided against it because it was so late.

I called the next morning instead. A routine check in. But a shocking response. Mom's voice was trembling slightly as she told me the news: the Graeter's ice cream shop my 17-year old sister works at had been robbed. She had been held up at gunpoint and locked in a closet with her other co-workers. Because the thief had taken her purse (with keys and ID), mom had the locks on the house changed. They will be changed again tomorrow.

As you can see, it's been quite an eventful time.

More news: I recently joined an acoustic rock band (plays originals) called Akarya. Will post when we have a gig.

I will never again think of working at an ice cream parlor to be a cake job.

Too tired to write more. Over and out.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Like a thief in the night

I'm not talking about Jesus.

I'm talking about a disgruntled ex-employee con artist who, after having lost a bogus lawsuit against my mom, is now seeking other less lucrative forms of revenge: a big pile of pig shit in front of my mom's cafe door at 1 a.m.

This is the reality I woke up to this morning.

And apparently the cops couldn't care less.

Guess they have better things to do than to protect citizens from scatological harrassment.

But this guy knows where we live (he lives only a mile away) which is troubling.

His methods are even more disturbing.

And if it's bad having a stalker, it's even worse to have a nut job with ties to the agriculture industry scheming up ways to compensate for his worthless, weasly excuse for a life.

I smell trouble. And it smells like shit.

Doubtlessly to be continued ...

Saturday, August 12, 2006

What you never suspected about herrings

Have you ever heard whale song? Apparently these ultra intelligent beings communicate through what sounds like high-pitched shrieks and burbles ... probably an advanced form of radar.

Well, herrings do them one better: like Jim Carrey, they talk through their butts. I quote from News of the Weird ...

"Research suggests that herring routinely communicate via a high-pitched sound emitted from their anuses. This June a scientist from the Greenland Institute of Natural Resources told a Rhode Island conference that herring also release gas bubbles from their anuses to make it more difficult for orcas to hunt them ..."

I guess farting is a way to get those predators off their scent, ha ha.

This definitely makes my list of the top hundred most highly undervalued pieces of irrelevent but supremely worthwhile information.

Your fortune: A fart is worth a thousand words.